the worst dream

last night i had the absolute worst dream i've had in a while:

i was sitting around eating dinner in my grandmothers house with my extended family, like we used to do. and Evan came walking up from the back of the room, i could tell her was fiddling with something on his face... but i couldn't tell what. as he got closer i could see that his eyeball was stuck to his tongue, and he was trying to separate the two. and as i was thinking, what the f***? how did that happen? i bent over to help him and his eyeball popped out. i freaked, then he saw my reaction and started to lose it. simultaneously, his other eye began to teeter on the crest of his eyelid.

i grabbed his face and held tight and told him we were going to the doctors, while he collapsed in my arms, limp and helpless. i began to cry. i was lost. all i do was say it's going to be all right, and we're going to see the doctor.

i realized he could no longer see me. he could no longer hear me. he was stricken with panic and in shock.

even now it disturbs me. i simply can't imagine something horrific happening to my children... just can't. i love him. i love her. so much...

dng.

Here we go again

swimming

dude all you ever want to do these days is go swimming, or ride your bike. and i'd love to take you bike riding all the time, but it's soooo hot right now. I do love to take you swimming, but dammit i wish you'd listen to me.

things you can't do (and won't listen to anyway) heart attack list:

no running

no jumping, especially on the deep end of the pool.

*especially in places where i'm NOT around.

no drowning - meaning, USE your floaty monster life vest.

I SAID NO RUNNING

no taking other kids toys

-please hold still while i slather sunblock on you

**HOLD STILL, please.

give that kid his football back

I thought i told you NOT to jump in places when i'm not there to catch you.

"No, i will not 'Please, Go Away' cause you'll sink to the bottom if i do"

... "I'm not going anywhere. get over it."

time to go home.

that's about how the pool goes. i freakin' love it.

---

Awe, MAN! i'm so stoked you watched the old school Superman movies w/ Christopher Reeves and loved it. freakin' lois lane was always beat though. whoever that chick is, she's busted. I like that you call him "Ooohter-Mahn." it's way cool... in fact i'm stoked to read the superman book we got you today at Pottery Barn. and i wanted to let you hold the book in the car on the way home, or even carry it to the car on the way out of the mall... but me and mommy were afraid that you would love it so much you're tear it to pieces. since you've already done that to your favorite books - TRUCKS ROLL. which we now call, Trucks Roll, breaked it. because after we told you that you broke it and we can't read it anymore, you were very sad, and would say, "trucks roll, breaked it."

i love you so much it's ridiculous monkey. see ya in the morning!

run around

run around, run around.

VRRRROOOOOMMM! Firetruck! f-f-f-firetruck too big for car wash. Yeah.

I gotta go pfotty! (i run like hell to the bathroom, and just barely make it. It's all dark, and someone has to turn the lights on, cause i'm just a little kid).

It DART! lights on. please dada. Hu-yie (hurry), hu-yie (hurr)!!

[on a side note it's weird that i'm ok with him talking like that. someday he won't and he'll tell me how much i suck... i hope that day never comes.]

GD - I LOVE THAT KID! NG